Wednesday, May 14, 2008
"The mailbox belonging to the person you have called is full. Good Bye."
Everyone tried calling
I swear I will teach you how to use the phone when you are back
Uncle called this morning
"Have you contacted mummy?"
"No, cant get through her phone. I think she didn't charge her phone or didn't on it. "
"Do you know which province she went to?"
"Some part of China, and we didn't know which province."
"Oh, don't worry. She will be fine. From the condition there think its hard for her to contact you all now."
"Yes. We know. Waiting for her to get back, everything is fine."
And all i can do is wait. Had this feeling years back when i was younger.
I know how important she is to me and i can truly understand what she feels like all this years
Remember all those times when she told me she will be home by noon
and she was only back at 9 plus at night
i just cant help it but worried for her, kneeing down and praying to my beloved god
remember her coming home smiling
and I'm all teary.
"what happen? Crazy girl, why are you crying?"
i ran to her, hug her tight and close, smelling her skin
"WHY ARE YOU HOME SO LATE? You told me you will be home by noon."
and her laughters,
"Had things to be done, don't be silly don't have to cry."
Years down the road, i remember her travelling every year
once if she was busy, twice or three if she have got time
I never get to know where she is going
and i never get to know or send her off to the airport
coming home and see her missing
and i start praying for a safe trip
i always think and believe that when i grow older and can afford it,
i shall go travelling with mummy and daddy
Bringing them to places that they will like
sight seeing, brisk walk by the sea, resort by the beach,
climbing the mountains, breathing the fresher air
and god loves me and blesses me, keeping my love ones safe and sound
mummy have got a weak stomach,
she can never take overnight food or any food too spicy, too cold, too heat
she couldn't adapt fast to the change of weather
when she comes back from a country where the weather is cold,
she falls ill, fever, running nose, cough
i don't like it, to see her weak, to see her not talking much to me
because she didn't wanted to spread her cough and flu to me
watching her sleep like a child, fulling her cup with warm water
putting a cushion on her stomach
fearing that wind might get into her stomach
"All things that are unpleasant, all illness and pain, let it happen only to me and never to my love ones please"
that's love
Love that is so simple
And the love that she showers me with is simple too
Bringing me up all those years, sending me to school to be educated.
Providing me with meals, clothes and a cozy place home.
Dad is busy working, Mummy works from home with her accounting stuff.
In Primary sch, she brings me to take the sch bus early in the morning
Coming to pick me up from sch when i have got a toothache
Coming down to sch to scold me when she found out that i was bullying my classmate
Cuts my hair to make it grow faster
She makes me copy my textbooks so as to remember the content
if it wasn't for her, i doubt i can ever pass my exams
In Sec Sch, she brings me to sch to get textbooks and uniform
she told me not to get into a relationship young
relationship ain't easy to handle and me being so playful
it will never last
she signs my report book and look at all the red marks
telling me its your future and its all in your hand
she look at my artworks and told me
take it as a hobby, in reality world you couldn't go far with it unless you are extremely marvellous
artists, musicistion mostly (not all) become famous only after they pass away
In Poly, she knows me well
allowing me only to chose sch close to home to ensure i wouldn't be too late for classes
She helps me sent all my documents, keeps all my certificates safe
Just because she loves me and knows me so well
When i comes home late, she lectures me
She must have been worried like i do
When she found that i wasn't taking regular meals
she wrote me a note :
"Trying to slim down? You are still young still growing. Meals are important, providing you the nutrition to grow and keep healthy. Why waste money on supplements and all when you can get the nutrition from meals. Complaining that you are poor yet you still spent money on all those unnecessary things. Supplements can be heaty, leading to pimples and your body is already heaty, it might cause you to fall sick instead.You are old enough to know what to eat and what not to. Take care of yourself." (no one can take care of you forever)
She might not be a great cook, but she still cares about my meals
She nags when my phone bill is always high
"Mummy, i can't contact you. I have got great news and i told brother about it too.
My phone bill was only $43 last month. i'm controlling my spending, i'm saving up so i can go study and we can go travel."
I have got so much to tell you, to share with you.
I didn't get to celebrate mother's day with you, please be back soon.
And my prayers was heard
After the countless try i get through the line
"Hello?"
"Hello, Mummy where are you?"
"I'm coming back soon two more days. I'm safe, not in the affected area. Tell Daddy and call grandpa to inform him too."
"ok. Mummy I miss you."
I wanted to tell her more, but i can't talk at all.
All choke up in my throat
Tears of joy and happiness
Ever since grew up, I had never told her how much i love and need her
i complains alot about her, i blame her for my own being
But it was never her fault.
Neglect. Violence. Silence.
Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them. They moved on. They move away.
All these precious moments With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven that's holding me all right
I don't know how I found you I'm thankful that I had
Now that I have a love so true
To hold to keep to share
In my heart,
I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'll always be with you until the very end
In this world there is no place I'd rather be
You are my life my soul my heart
And through it all I know that you're come to see
that you're the one till the end
We've found our way back home
We'll always be till the end
** Thanks alot to sweetie for accompanying me yesterday down to town, thought i didn't get my dress but still its so nice to see you.
** Thanks to Jerlyn girl, Luppie, xSam and all for the caring. Sorry to have scared you guys. Got a little too emotional.
i will be strong
And i will always love you.
Sliding down my Rainbow :D
5:46 PM
"The mailbox belonging to the person you have called is full. Good Bye."
Years down the road, i remember her travelling every year
And the love that she showers me with is simple too
And my prayers was heard